always missing deadlines

Normally I wouldn't bring this up, but there just seems to be such a desire to go back to this particular time period that is totally baffling to me. I know that when you revisit things you have the advantage of finding the gems and polishing them up, making the innovations part of a more realistic and acceptible form. But seriously, can I ask this? What the hell was going on with us in the 80's? I know. It's not really fair of me to ask this question. I was three when the sun set on the 1980's and therefore was not really around to have been caught up in the moment. I don't have the advantage of looking back and being embarrassed about it or apologetic. I wouldn't bother to ask this question, though, if I didn't think there was some kind of answer.

I don't want to be overly critical or bash. I won't go into detail about the big hair styles for both men and women, I won't talk about the relatively unimaginitive automobile designs (the DeLorean being a pretty big exception) or the neon color schemes. I just want to know what happened. Naturally, I have my own hypothesis. In order to fully appreciate the argument, you have to remember, or pretend there was a time before "irony". In the 1980's "the future" was still something people thought about. There were still possibilities because not everything had been done yet. This was especially true because the ridiculous marijuana clouds and smell of swinger parties permeated 90% of American cities. It is easy to see how that could cloud the collective consiousness and make innovation difficult. Where the 60's tried to lead us, the 70's just plain didn't live up to the promise. All of the work that activists and avant garde musicians strived to achieve was erased by cock rock and hideous moustaches.

The lethargy caused by weed gave way to the hyperactivity of cocaine, for which there was really only one possible outcome: androgeny. This led to such possibilities. Musicians no longer had to be stuck playing the same four power chords thanks to the keytar, nor did the songs have to have any concept of being based on an idea. Take for example "The Safety Dance". Go ahead and search that song. Give it a listen and see if you can come up with a thesis statement. This was also the decade where Micael Jackson became a superstar. Don't get me wrong, I love the music of Michael Jackson, but in the year I was born, 1987, MJ released a song in which he tried to convince the world he was physically intimidating and macho via pelvic thrusts and jumping off of other guys' backs.

But I get it, people of the 1980's. Where else were you supposed to go. You were pioneers, trying to figure it all out and there was nobody to guide you. Commodities traders were changing the game of finance at the same time more than a negative percentage of men were seriously considering eye liner. You had to push the envelope for the sake of pushing it, even if it was into orifices that were quiestionable at best. And the cocaine definitely didn't help. You don't have to keep reminding us. I guess what I'm saying is, damn you 1980's for taking away innovation. All that's left for us now is to look back, and look back at you for ideas that were already all thought of. We've reverted to going back two centuries thanks to your trailblazing. Couldn't you have just gone with one thing? You could have had the synth, or the big hair, or people all dressing the same way be it boy or girl. But did you have to do freaking all of it? Who could keep up with the pace you guys were on? Had it not been for the incredibly depressing depression that spilled over into the early 90's it may never have ended. Hell, all of those flying cars and alien encounters everybody was so keen on might have actually come true.

I don't say this often, but thankfully shady business practices were allowed to prevail in oder to just give us all a break. It's been more than twenty years now since you ended, 1980's, and we still can't catch our breath. Except that when you stopped running into uncharted cultural territory, you took with you your entrepenuerial spirit, leaving behind jaded, angry people who can only say "Never again" even though they steal all of your music now and act like it was cool. Bastards.